What You've Gone Through
by Half Demon Alchemist
Summary: Roy's been too cruel to Ed. He knows it. But he doesn't quite understand why. He said such hurtful things, knowing they would hurt, but didn't quite understand why they were so painful for Edward to hear... Well he's about to find out just how much pain Ed has been through all these years. Parental! Roy/Ed
1. Such Cruel Things

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**Disclaimer: I do NOT own FMA , and NEVER WILL!**

******Chapter One:**

_Such Cruel Things_

Saying Roy wasn't happy, would be a understatement. The reasons of why today was, indeed, not a very good day just kept piling up. The morning started off with him, being late to work and Hawkeye, aiming her beloved gun at his head. He then proceeded to locate some nice, black coffee... And some idiot just happened to bump into him and spill it on Roy's uniform (Needless to say, that man now has a scorch mark on his uniform.)

Luckily, Riza kept a spare uniform for the Colonel, in case of accidents like that. Thank god. Only then, did Riza proceed to deliver him a high pile of paperwork everyone knew he wasn't going to do. To make matters worse, Havoc's girlfriend had just broken up with him this morning, so the crying wails coming from him could be heard echoing through the office while he cried out phrases like, 'Why Jennifer? WHY? I thought we had something special!'

And to top it all of, it was _raining._ Life must certainly hate him. Roy always hated rain. You can't get a spark when you're wet.

Riza knocked on the door. Not hearing a answer from the livid Colonel, she welcomed herself. "Sir, you do remember you have a meeting with Edward in ten minutes, right?"

Roy whammed his head on the desk. As if things weren't bad enough, the Fullmetal midget is coming by to give another damn report. _'He can be such a insufferable little brat. Always mouthing off. Sure, the kids had a tough past, but come on, theres no reason he has to be such an ass about everything.'_

Immediately after he thought the hurtful words, did the door to his office get kicked open. '_And here's the awful little boy himself' _Roy probably wouldn't have been thinking such cruel things, if his mood had been better.

Ed stalked over to his desk and shoved a crumpled report in his face. "Here." That one word that came from Fullmetal's mouth was spoken with disdain. Roy knew Edward couldn't stand the reports. With the complimentary short joke on behalf of the Colonel.

Roy took the report from the metal hand. "Ah, as usual Fullmetal, a sloppy report, almost as _short_ as the one who created it..." Roy said plainly, without even a hint of a smirk. His joke would have been better, but he was in a rather foul mood.

Seems Edward was as well. "DON'T CALL ME SMALL! I'LL BREAK DOWN YOUR FEET AND STICK 'EM ON YOUR HEAD!"

There was a pause before Ed added "And there's not a damn problem with my report, bastard."

Roy sighed. He really just wanted to get this over with before his headache got worse. "Fullmetal, I demand you re-write it. It's simply horrid."

Ed opened his mouth to protest but Roy beat him to it. "Thats an order."

Fullmetal's scowl deepened. He glared at his superior with that special fire he had in his molten gold eyes. But that glare had no effect on Roy, seeing as he had this conversation after every mission.

"_Now._" Roy spoke in his I'm-your-commanding-officer-don't-test-me voice. He took a pencil from the top drawer of his desk and extended it. Ed begrudgingly took it.

"Fine, you bastard. But I'm only doing this so I can go find the Philosophers Stone faster!"

Roy's tone was harsh and cold as he spoke "Well, you wouldn't have to write reports if you didn't join the military, you little brat." He was in a horrid mood. And Fullmetal was simply making it worse.

"You know damn well I had to join the military!"

The older mans glare become harsher and his tone colder. "Because of the idiotic mistakes you made. Honestly, it was pathetic what you did. And you did it to your own mother and your brother. Your own father left you. He probably couldn't even stand to be around you."

Ed froze. His mouth hanging open and his eyes were brimming with translucent tears. But Roy didn't stop there.

"You turned your own mother into- _that thing._ It was, repulsive... Revolting. Disgusting. It wasn't even human. Not even close, it was a monster. You turned your own _mother _into a monster." Roy honestly didn't know why he was saying these things. He knew it was hurtful. He knew it was cruel. But, if he was miserable, Ed could be miserable too. _  
_

Ed's tears were flowing freely, the words from the older man were like a slap in the face.

"And your brother. He sacrificed even more than you. And what do you do to him? You _trap_ him in that tin can he now calls a body. He can't feel, eat or even sleep. He can't feel pain and he can't cry. You turned him into that of your own free will. You did that because your selfish. You didn't want to be alone, so you _forced _your little brother to suffer with you."

The clear liquid did not stop coursing down Edward's tan face. But still, Roy did not stop.

"You're worthless, you know that? Completely worthless. All you do is screw things up for everyone else. Worthless. That's all you are. No one wants you here. No one. Not a single one of these good people here want you in the proximity. No one wants you. Why? Because you're worthless. Disgusting. It pains me to even be within eye sight of you, you horrid little selfish creature."

Ed's tears did not stop as turned and walked quietly down the office, the crystal tears still cascading down his cheeks. "I see." That was all he said before quietly leaving the office. The betrayal, the hurt, the pain and the sorrow in his eyes was evident. But Roy thought nothing of it.

Usually, Roy would have felt at least a little guilty for speaking such cruel words to the boy. But not this time. Roy sighed. His headache had gotten exceedingly worse, so he removed himself from his chair. Walking over to black couch, he sprawled out on it, sinking into the comfort.

A short nap wouldn't hurt. He could do paperwork later. Besides, maybe it could help his painful headache...

Yawning a final time, Roy fell into a deep sleep.

He was _not _expecting to have this sort of dream...

Usually he dreamed of hot girls in tiny mini skirts...

This time it was different. _Very _different...

It broke his heart.

And he said such cruel things...

**Chapter Two coming soon!**

**What is Roy dreaming of? Find out in the next chapter!**

**Review Please!**


	2. Like A Ghost

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**Disclaimer: I do NOT own FMA , and NEVER WILL!**

**NOTE: Most of these occurrences have indeed, happened in FMA but a few I made up.**

******Chapter** **Two:**

_Like A Ghost_

Roy was a smart man. He knew right away what he was seeing. Even though the idea seemed impossible, it was really happening. He was seeing Edward's past. He was intelligent enough to figure out where he was and that they couldn't see him. Like a ghost.

Judging by the age of the blonde boy he was standing behind, Edward must have been around three. Roy did however, think it was strange. Fullmetal was average height for his age.

Not knowing what else to do, he followed Ed, like a ghost.

Roy watched silently as Edward poked his small head into a room at the end of the hallway, Roy looked in as well.

He saw a man. With golden hair, glasses and a beard, sitting at a desk. The man (who Roy figured was Ed's father) was writing. **(1)**

"Daddy?" The child Ed asked. The man did not acknowledge him.

"Daddy? Can we play now?" The little boy persisted.

"I'm busy now Edward, now leave. Go to your mother." Hohenheim said coldly.

'_Whatever he's doing better be damn important if your dismissing your son like that.' _Roy thought with hatred. It was enough to break his heart, seeing small Edward's head lower and see him watching first hand as his eyes filled with tears. He _was_ only three.

"Oh- okay Daddy." The sad and rejected tone the small child was using was enough to make someone like Envy burst into tears. Childhood Ed slowly backed away from the door and walked down the hall.

Time skipped forward. Next thing to know he was seeing the backs of Trisha Elric and Hohenheim.

"Are you sure you don't want me to wake them?" Trisha asked sweetly.

"Uh huh," the man mumbled and pulled on his brown coat. "If I see their faces...I might cry."

"It's okay to cry, silly," Trisha said, her face had a bittersweet smile.

The golden man didn't seem to being paying attention, he was looking down the hall. There were two small boys, Which Roy recognized Ed, but he was a bit taller, so Roy guessed he was now four, and a small boy he guessed was Alphonse who was about three.

"What are you two doing up so early?" Trisha asked sweetly.

"Al hadda go potty." Ed mumbled sleepily, while rubbing his eye with the back of his hand.

"Oh, so you were looking after Al? Thank you, Ed." She leaned over and rubbed his head. Ed stopped rubbing his eyes and looked straight up at his father, whose eyes were nearly hidden by his glasses. The Elric brothers looked confused, like they had no idea what was going on.

'_They must... have no idea he's leaving...'_ Roy thought sadly. His heart went out to the small boys right then.

Without saying another word, Hohenheim picked up his traveling case, his face was emotionless, and if it had an emotion it was a very unpleasant one. He opened the door, and walked out. Without even saying goodbye. The man never looked back, never waved goodbye.

'_No wonder Ed hates his father so much...'_

Roy noticed that everytime one of the brothers asked about their father, their mother would change the topic quickly.

The next days went by in a blur for Roy. He was watching Ed and Al walk next to their mother on the way home from Winry's birthday, where the gave her a alchemically made doll.

The boy's looked about six and seven.

"Okay boy's no secrets, when did your father ever teach you alchemy?" Trisha asked curiously, with a smile on her face.

"How can we learn from someone who isn't ever here?" Ed said bitterly. It was clear he had a dislike of his father.

"We learned from this book!" Al piped up helpfully. Thrusting a book into his mother's hands.

"You mean you understand this on your own?" Trisha's tone was shocked as she leafed through the pages with complicated transmutation circles.

"Yeah, more or less." The boys said in unison.

"So are you upset with us?" Ed asked, looking up apologetically at his mother.

'_No wonder he's a prodigy, he's been reading books all his life...' _Roy mumbled to himself.

"You mean for using alchemy? No Ed, I'm proud! I think I'll brag to everyone I know." Trisha smiled happily.

Roy would have never guessed Edward could smile so big. Now, he rarely smiles at all, but this little blonde child was full of smiles.

The next event made Roy want to cry. The Ed was around eight or nine, which made Al seven or eight.

The boy's were happily racing each other home from the market, baskets of vegetables in their arms. Ed had a huge smile on his face, and was playfully teasing his younger brother about his running pace.

"Hello Mom, sorry we're late!" Ed called as he pushed open the front door. And saw his mother, lying on the wood floor a basket of vegetables spilled around her.

"MOM!" The young boys called, dropping their baskets and running torwards their mother.

Next thing Roy knew, Trisha was lying on a bed, and had been for the last couple days. Roy heard snippets of the doctor and Pinako's conversation, apparently, she had been dealing with this illness for the last couple years, but didn't say anything.

Trisha was currently gripping both of the boys hands, her breathing was labored. Roy could tell she was dying now. And seeing Edward and Alphonse with such sad faces made him want to curl up in a ball and cry himself to sleep.

"Yo-Your father left us some money. I-I've never touched it. I was s-saving it for you boys. Use it. And take care of each other."

Ed tried to smile. "Don't be silly, We'll use it with you." Roy never would have guessed Ed could be so... _sweet_.

"Edward, would you be a sweetheart and transmute something for your mother?" She paused. "Yes I know... A ring of flowers would be nice... You see, your father..." Trisha's eyes were getting dimmer, the life fading. But she was smiling."Always... used to make them for me..." And then her eyes shut, the life faded completely and her hand that was holding her sons hands went slack. But the smile was there.

They figured it out. The reason their mother had always smiled at their alchemy, was because it reminded her of their father...

The day of Trisha's funeral arrived, and the brothers were clad in black suits. One by one, the people left.

'_Hohenheim didn't even attend! He didn't even attend his own wife's funeral! She died waiting for you, you bastard!' _Roy thought angrily. Right now, all he wanted was to walk up to him and slap his face. For leaving Trisha, Ed and Al.

Roy watched sadly as Al was huddled in front of Trisha's grave.

"Brother, I'm hungry, and I'm cold too... How are we going to do this? How are we going to live without her?" Al asked sadly, trying to contain his tears and failing. The words Ed spoke caught Roy off guard.

"We're not, Al. We're going to bring her back."

And that was what horrified Roy the most. He knew what was about to happen, he knew what they would do. And once more, his heart was broken. He wanted to grab them by the shoulders and shake them, yell at them not to make this mistake... But he couldn't... All Roy could do was stand there and watch... as they made the biggest mistake of their young lives...

All he could do was stand and watch... He felt so useless... But thats what he would do. He was seeing these things for a reason, he knew it.

So all he would do was stand there and watch...

Like a ghost.

**Chapter Three coming soon!**

**Read and Review!**

**(1) I made this scene up, but the other ones are direct quotes and everything! I watched the episodes as I wrote this to make sure it was correct...**


	3. Such Wretched, Awful Things

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**Disclaimer: I do NOT own FMA , and NEVER WILL!**

**Dedicated To My Friend: Payton. Pride (Congrats on finishing your CSTs!)**

**Chapter Three:**

_Such Wretched, Awful Things_

Roy watched the hell the young Elric brothers went through with their alchemy teacher, Izumi Curtis. Roy wondered how she could leave two young children, on a island, by themselves, with just a knife. And _damn_ even _Roy_ thought she was scary. The great Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist, Hero of Ishval, was afraid of a housewife. And for a good reason too.

He continued to follow them back to their home, where the used to live with their mother and 'that bastard.' Even Roy was calling Hohenheim 'that bastard.'

"And here I thought when Fullmetal called him "that bastard" was unnecessary. Now even I call him that..."Roy whispered, though he knew that even if he shouted, no one would hear him.

_'And yet you still said to Ed that their father left because of him... even though thats not true...' _Roy's inner voice was laced with guilt and sorrow.

"I can't believe I really said that..."

'_Y__ou did, you horrible person...'_

"I really am horrible... My bad mood was no reason to say such a thing to Fullmetal..."

_'Damn right it wasn't__'_ The voice said angrily.

Roy watched the young brothers with sad, guilt filled eyes as they trekked up the path to their once happy home.

The next few years went by. Roy was now watching a eleven year old Edward and a ten year old Alphonse. Roy followed them down the hall into their fathers study. Roy watched with wide eyes as they Ed grabbed a piece of white chalk and started drawing on the stone floor.

"A... human... transmutation...circle?" a lightbulb went off in Roy's head. He panicked. "DON'T DO IT! IT'LL RUIN YOUR LIVES! DON'T! STOP! THAT'S AN ORDER FULLMETAL! EDWARD, ALPHONSE! STOP IT NOW!" Roy yelled in desperation. But he couldn't do a thing. He had never felt more useless in his life. He felt more useless then when he was in the rain. _That's_ how useless he felt. He couldn't do a thing.

The sky suddenly grew dark and the the light from outside the window seemed tinted red. The ravens cawed loudly from the branches from the single tree outside, their red glowing eyes matching the tint of the sky.

Roy was still yelling for them to cease their actions when the tray of Ed take a tray and place it in the center. The young alchemist was listing components he memorized. "Water 35 liters, Carbon 20 kilograms, Ammonia 4 liters, Lime 1.5 kilograms, Phosphorus 100 grams, Salt 250 grams, Salt Pieter 100 grams, Sulfur 80 grams, Florine 7.5 grams, Iron 5 grams, Silicon 3 grams." **(1) **Roy watched as the brothers took a knife and sliced their fingers and as the blood dropped, the older man heard the eldest of the boys say "And finally, we need some soul data."

The colonel lost it. He ran up to Ed, to grab him and tell him to stop, but he couldn't touch him. His pale hand slid right through the young blonde. Roy backed away, knowing he could not change this.

He stood in the corner, by the armor that would soon be Al's body. The boys kneeled down next to the circle as the youngest tell the eldest that something didn't feel right, and how Ed reassured Al that everything would be fine.

They looked at each other, with matching shit eating grins, and turned and bent their heads down to look at the circle. The boys slammed their hands on the edge of the white circle and the room was glowing blue.

Roy watched in horror as shadows rose around the young alchemist. The grins faded from their faces.

"Ed, something doesn't feel right." The younger of the two stated.

The older man continued to watch in absolute terror as a single giant eye opened in the center of the circle. The next thing that was heard was a scream. Al's scream. The inhabitants in the room all looked down in horror as Al's hand disapeared. Small shadows in the shape of hands were grabbing onto Alphonse's remaining arm.

"Al!" Ed called out in desperation, preparing to run to his younger brother, when Roy saw his face change to a look of pure agony. Roy looked down, his obsidian eyes wide in the horror taking place around him. Sure enough, those shadow hands had touched Ed's leg, and it was gone.

Edward screamed in pain, and fell to the stone floor.

"It can't be... a rebound?" The young Ed whispered

"BROTHER!"

Ed averted his gaze from his left leg to his younger brother who was lifted of the ground by the hands and being dragged towards a portal. Al was reaching for Ed, struggling against the grip of the hands trapping him.

Roy's heart broke then and there, after seeing the brothers reach for each other in desperation, and witnessing as Al just... vanished.

Next thing Roy knew, he was standing next to Ed, in a white room, with a gate behind him. "Al? Wait, what was I doing? I just-"

"Hello." came the eerie voice.

Roy and Ed looked over to see a white figure.

"Who are you?" a confused Ed asked.

"I'm so glad you asked." came the reply from the figure. "I am called by many names. I am the world, I'm the universe. I'm God. I am Truth. I am all. I am one. And I am also... you." Truth pointed Edward.

_'God, this guy is creepy...' _Were the only thoughts Roy's terrified brain could think of. Roy was terrified. Not for himself, not in the least bit. For them. For Ed and Al. Yeah, he knew they were still alive, but seeing first hand how they lived...

Roy's thoughts were interrupted as the gate behind Edward opened and the single eye appeared.

"You have dared to knock on the door, now, the door is open." The Truth said and the hands came and grabbed the petrified Ed, but the blonde- being as stubborn as he was- tried to run away from the hands. Unsuccessfully.

The Truth spoke once more "Quite child, this is what you wanted, isn't it?"

Roy added The Truth to his mental list of "People To Punch For Upsetting Edward" list. Truth was right under Hohenheim.

Ed's screams grew louder and his arm was reaching out of the closing door trying to break free. It was truly a sad sight for Roy, the dark haired man desperately wanted to help the young boy, but his feet stayed rooted to his spot, for- as much as he hated to admit it- Roy knew he couldn't help.

Roy waited impatiently.

'_What hell is Fullmetal being forced to see now?' _Roy wondered pityingly.

Suddenly, the door opened and slammed shut, and there stood Edward, his small arm out stretched as if to grab something. _'Or someone.' _The little voice in Roy's head suggested.

"How was it?" The Truth asked. '_almost smugly... I should burn Truth to a crisp.'_ But Roy refrained from doing so.

Ed turned on his heel and walked towards the now closed gate. "I see, my theory of Human Transmutation wasn't wrong... It can be done. Its possible." The blonde slammed his chubby hands on the door. "It's still just missing something! All the answers I need are right here! The truth about Human Transmutation! Please! You have to show it to me again!" Ed yelled enthusiastically.

"I can't do that." Said the Truth, rising to his feet. Ed looked back at the Truth with a confused look on his golden features. "I've already showed you all I can for the toll you paid."

_'Toll? What does that creep mean by toll?' _Roy asked himself. His question was answered.

"Toll? What Toll?" The small blonde asked.

"This." And the Truth's left leg started to turn to skin "Surely you knew." Roy turned to Ed with horror in his coal colored eyes. Ed's left leg was getting taken. Suddenly the Truth was in front of the young boy with a eerie grin as it's only feature.

"Its the law of Equivalent Exchange, right young alchemist?"

"AAAHHHH!"

Roy opened his eyes to see the eleven year old Edward lying on the stone floor in his fathers study once more. The blonde was clutching his bleeding leg. Screams of pain were coming from the boy.

"Dammit. This can't be happening." Ed's small, bloody hand curled into a fist. "It can't be." Ed dragged himself across the floor.

Roy had never known his heart could break so many times, especially just from watching one persons life. _'And he's still only eleven...' _That _ever so helpful_ voice chimed in helpfully. Making Roy's guilt grow.

"This wasn't- this wasn't supposed to... NO!" Ed screeched, tears pricking his golden eyes. "He's gone! What have I done?

"Somebody help me. Somebody-" Ed whimpered. At that moment Roy wanted nothing more then to pull the boy into his arms and cradle him gently.

Roy was filled with sadness at the sight of Edward on the floor, bleeding from the stump that was now Ed's leg.

That feeling of sadness Roy felt, was quickly replaced with the urge to vomit, at the sight of the _thing_ that lied in the center of the circle.

"Please Mom-" Ed called out turning to the center of the circle. "Mom please-"

It wasn't human. It couldn't be. It couldn't be Trisha Elric. She was beautiful. This _creature _was most certainly not.

Roy watched as the _thing_ reached its arm out towards Edward, then collapsed with a spurt of blood from its mouth.

"No, this is wrong. This is... This isn't what we wanted!"

'_It wasn't what I wanted for you either, Edward, I would have never wanted you to have to see such a horrid thing. Such a wretched, awful thing.'_

And the voice called out another statement in Roy's mind '_But you said those things anyway.' _The voice continued,

'Such.'

'Wretched.'

'Awful.'

'Things.'

**Review! **

**(1) I got that list of components from Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Episode two 'The First Day'**

**(2) I got all of those lines from Edward, Alphonse and The Truth from ****Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood: Episode two 'The First Day' direct quotes.**

******I bet your excited for the next chapter, right? **

******Chapter Four coming soon!**


	4. And It Was All Because Of Him

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!**

**Chapter Four:**

_And It Was All Because Of Him_

Roy watched as Ed looked away from the monster in the circle, to his bloodied hands.

"Al, Alphonse, Alphonse! Alphonse!" Ed cried out for his younger brother. Roy had never heard something so... sad...

The next thing made Roy's heart want to shatter.

"This is all my fault!" The small Edward yelled, tears pricking his golden eyes. Roy knew Ed always blamed himself. He knew that. But hearing Ed say it, when he was this young...

"Alphonse no!"

Roy could only watch, helpless, as the small, bleeding Edward dragged himself across the floor, knocking over the suit of armor in the corner. The red life substaining liquid was everywhere. Leaving a trail behind Ed.

"No dammit, you won't take him too!" The young Edward drew the complex circle on the inside of the armor, to bond the soul.

"Give him back. He's my brother. Take my leg. Take my arm." Edward's voice raised as he screamed out "TAKE MY HEART, ANYTHING! YOU CAN HAVE IT!"

'_Anything?' _Roy didn't doubt that for a second. He knew Ed was serious when he said anything.

The translucent tears were streaming down the boys tanned face. But he still wore a look of fierce determination.

"Just give him back. HE'S MY LITTLE BROTHER, HE'S ALL I HAVE LEFT!" The young Edward clapped his hands together, blue light emitting from them.

* * *

Next thing Roy knew, he was staring... at himself. In front of the Rockbell's front door.

"Yes?" The short old woman, Pinako, if he remembered correctly, asked.

Roy watch in disgust as his past self simply pushed his way past her, and intruded into her home.

"Hey! What is this!" Pinako yelled angrily after past-Roy.

"You have no reason to come barging in here!" The angrily old woman yelled.

The next thing he saw, made Roy want to add himself to the list of 'People To Punch For Upsetting Edward'

He watched in horror, disgust, and self loathing as he saw his past self set his sights on a rather defeated looking Edward, in a wheel chair, two limbs missing.

Roy really wanted to burn himself as he saw his past self pick the depressed looking Edward up by the front of his shirt, and yell in the poor boys face."We went to your house, we saw the floor, what was that! What did you do!"

Edward's gaze immediately lowered, and his eyes darkened.

"We're sorry." The suit of armor past Roy hadn't even noticed called out. "We didn't mean it. We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry." Both Roy's watched as the armor shook with invisible sobs.

"Wait, are you..." Past Roy whispered. Roy watched, glaring at his past self the whole time, as Past Roy made the offer of joining the military.

It disgusted him, seeing himself make that offer to a child, who had just lost everything.

* * *

Roy had just witnessed the awful creation of automail surgery. The poor boy. That's all Roy could think. He heard how Winry and Pinako explained that it would take three years for Ed to recover, and the look of sheer determination on the boy's face when he said "I'll do it in one."

The Rockbell's explained how even grown men cry, scream or even pass out during the operation. Ed, just clenched his teeth through it. Didn't even whimper. And why didn't he cry out? Because as Edward said it, "It's nothing compared to what he's been through." It was obvious that 'he' was Alphonse.

Roy also watched as Ed continued to mutter things about Alphonse hating him for what Ed did to him. Roy wanted to hold the distressed child, and tell him that he didn't do it to Al.

But, Roy couldn't do that... not yet...

* * *

Next point in life **(A/N these scenes from this point on, are all created from my imagination.) **Edward was sitting in his wheel chair, considering he couldn't use his prothetic limbs right now, in front of a table, holding a pen in his left hand. The piece of paper was covered in a completely illegible scrawl.

"Dammit! I can't do it!" Ed yelled angrily grabbing the paper with his one hand and crumpling it and tossing it far away from him, like it was the plague.

"Of course you can brother! You just have to keep practicing!" Al said encouragingly, placing a new clean sheet of paper before his older brother.

Ed sighed in defeat. "Yeah, you're right Al... I just have to keep practicing! It'll be perfect! Just you watch!"

Something close to laughter emitted from the armor. "Yes brother, I'm sure it will be."

The older Elric smiled at the younger and picked up the pen, practicing his penmanship.

"No wonder he hates it when I mention his handwriting... Great another thing to be guilty for..." Roy had gotten used to talking to himself out loud, coming to terms with the fact that no one could see or hear him.

* * *

Roy realized something.

The Edward during the day, when he was in front of people, was a lot different from the Edward at night, when he was alone...

The Edward at night made Roy want to cry.

During the day, Ed was full of smiles and self-confidence and attitude... but when Ed was alone, at night... that persona quickly faded. Roy noticed that the blonde would constantly have nightmares, and then would wake up, and start crying, muttering apologies into his blankets.

"I'm sorry Mom... I'm sorry Alphonse. This is... this is all my fault... everything... everything's my fault. I did this to them. My... my family... I'm a monster... how could I do this to them? Al probably hates me... I can't blame him... I hate me, too..." The rest of the blondes words were turned into sobs. Quiet sobs. The tears seemed like they would never stop flowing, and it was painful to watch.

Really painful.

Roy stood next to Ed. Tears shown in obsidian eyes. Roy couldn't help it. The colonel hadn't cried this whole time, while most other people would just be crying. Seeing Edward like this, it really hurt. The Flame Alchemist's heart was getting wrenched all over again.

"Mommy... Mommy... please, I'm sorry! I'm so sorry..." The young boy then proceeded to cry, until he was in a dreamless sleep.

Oh, Gate, did Roy ever feel bad. How could he apologize for this? He would have too. Roy couldn't bare continuing to go on like the bastard he was. Ed had enough troubles in his young life. He didn't need Roy to cause him more.

"Do you know why you're here, Flame Alchemist?" an eerie voice called from behind him.

Roy didn't dare turn around. Who... What was it... Roy had heard this voice before, that he was sure of... he just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Who are you?"

"I'm so glad you asked." came the reply from behind him. "I am called by many names. I am the world, I'm the universe. I'm God. I am Truth. I am all. I am one. And I am also... you."

_'Oh my fucking god... It's... that... thing...' _

"Thats right, so glad you remember! Now come along, Flame Alchemist, it's time for you to wake up!"

* * *

Roy opened his eyes. The room he was in was white. But that couldn't possibly be... His office walls were NOT white... Wait... where was his couch? His desk? Anything for that matter! Where in hell was he?

"You're right here, Flame Alchemist." Spoke the Truth

Roy looked around "holy fuck... I'm here... just like in my dream..."

The Truth pointed at Roy, then spoke "Well Flame Alchemist, aren't you wondering why you could even see the young alchemist's past?"

Roy blinked. He was so caught up in Fullmetal's past, he didn't even really wonder how he was seeing those things...

"I'll tell you, Flame Alchemist."

The raven haired man nodded.

The Truth flashed a shit eating grin before stating "Equivalent Exchange."

"What about it?" Roy narrowed his obsidian eyes suspicious of the Truth's words. Last time the Truth said that, Ed lost his right arm and left leg.

"Flame Alchemist, allow me to explain..."

Roy simply nodded, signaling for the Truth to continue.

"You, Flame Alchemist have been hurting that young alchemist with reminders of the young alchemist's past. So, I have made sure that you exprieneced first hand, how deep his pain runs. Now, Flame Alchemist, if I am correct, you feel guilty for what you have said to the young alchemist."

"You... did... what"

"Flame Alchemist, I made you experience first hand, the pain that young alchemist has gone through." the Truth paused for a moment. "Equivalent Exchange. Your toll, for seeing this past is-"

"WHAT! I didn't even say I wanted this! And-"

"Quiet, human. Your toll, is that when you go back to your world, you need to apologize."

Roy blinked, stunned he was getting out with all his limbs in tact.

"Now, good bye, Flame Alchemist."

* * *

The colonel bolted to a sitting position... and fell off the couch.

"Ow, dammit!"

He stood up, and walked outside of his office doors to where his subordinates were.

"Attention!" Roy called in his commanding officer voice.

When the turned from their work and looked at him, they were each either glaring, scowling or had a look of ultimate disapproval or anger on their faces.

"W-what is it?" Roy stuttered, for he was not used to this kind of treatment. Hell, even Kain looked pissed!

Riza was the first to speak up. Her anger was clear on her feminine features. She narrowed her eyes in a harsh glare before speaking. "I can't believe you would do that, Roy."

Holy Gate, Roy knew he was _screwed_. Riza _never_ called him by his first name unless she was _really _pissed.

"D-do what?"

Every subordinate in the room glared at him fiercely. Hell, even Black Hayate growled at him!

Jean spoke up next. "It is absolutely _sick_! How could you do that to him! Then, you have the audacity take a three hour nap and then act like you never did that to the poor kid!"

'_I was sleeping for THREE HOURS?! Wait, what does Havoc mean by did that... to... him... Oh my God. Edward.'_

"We heard the whole thing. You're a cruel bastard you know that?" Heymans said, while glaring.

"But, you guys know that I treat you like family..." Roy said pitifully.

"No, Roy, you lost your so called "family" the moment you said those horrible things to poor Edward! He was sobbing by the time he left your office!" Riza almost yelled.

Jean suppressed a glare and looked at Roy. "You better go look on your desk."

Confused, the colonel turned and walked into his office.

He walked to his desk, where he saw it.

A pocket watch. He flipped it open, in scratchy letters, there was carved "Don't Forget Oct-3-11"

"Oh. My. God. What is this doing on my desk? Maybe he just left it here and Hawkeye placed it on my desk..."

Thats when he saw the real reason he was there.

In horrible penmanship.

There was a white envelope.

Roy read the front of the envelope out loud with a horrified look on his face.

"Edward Elric. Fullmetal Alchemist... Resignation letter..."

And it was all because of him.


	5. It's Too Late

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!**

**+++IMPORTANT NOTE!+++**_** I redid the 'fight' Roy and Edward had back in chapter one. I suggest that you read it. It's a lot better now. Please, read it. PART OF THIS WILL NOT MAKE SENCE IF YOU DON'T!**_

**Chapter Five:**

_It's Too Late_

He had to find Ed. It was his fault he was gone. He had to be the one to find him. He wanted to find him.

Besides, he had promised The Truth... he would apologize.

Equivalent exchange.

He reread the letter left by Edward.

'_Dear Colonel Mustang,_

_You were right. No one wants me here. I'm not important. You're right. I'm worthless. So, I'm resigning. I won't bother you with my presence anymore. I mess everything up. I know that. I'd hate to pain you with my sight anymore.' _Roy paused... Were those... tear stains on the paper? '_Sorry, I didn't know just how worthless I was until you pointed it out. But you're right. It pains me to say it, but you're right. I'm selfish. I hate being alone. I'm awful. I don't deserve to be here. So, I'm giving you this letter, and my official State Alchemist pocket watch._

_-Former State Alchemist,_

_Edward Elric, Formerly Fullmetal Alchemist.'_

Yes. Those were tear stains.

Roy stormed back to Riza. "Where is he?"

She glared at him. "I don't know. He ran away. Crying."

The colonel sighed and ran a hand through his raven black hair.

"I'm going to go look for him."

"You better."

Roy made his way to the door.

"Oh and sir, I suggest..." She took her gun out of her holster and flicked the safety off. "...That you don't come back until you found him, and apologized."

The obsidian-eyed man gulped. He knew this wasn't just a mere threat.

This time, it was for real.

"Yes... lieutenant. I'm leaving now."

Roy didn't wait for a response before he went out the door.

* * *

Edward ran through the streets. His sight was blinded by tears. He didn't care.

He didn't care where he was going, as long as it was away from Mustang.

'_He's right. I'm useless. Worthless...'_

He kept running, his mismatched feet clanking the sidewalk.

He didn't know where he was going...

That meant Roy wouldn't know either...

So he continued to run away.

* * *

Roy ran and ran down the streets. He'd been looking for Edward for hours now. Asking different people if they had seen him. None of them had.

He checked the train station, asked the employees. Luckily, Ed had not gotten on one of the trains. So he was still in Central. That meant Roy could still find him. No matter how long it took. He would find him.

He slowed to a walk. He hated to admit, but he was out of breath. Sitting inside doing paperwork all day will do that to a man.

He walked near a park. It was almost dark out, so there were next to no children there. Just one little girl... and what was she doing? It looked like she was doing something... talking to someone... But... Roy didn't see anyone...

He figured the girl just had imaginary friends. he dismissed it and walked past the park.

But he couldn't shake the feeling that he should go to the park...

No... There was no need to.

And he continued walking farther from the park, and the little girl and her invisible friend.

* * *

Edward decided to sit at the park. It was near dark, so there was only one little girl there.

He saw Roy walking closer to the park from down the street, and managed to hide behind a large play structure.

The little girl walked up to him, her mother was occupied reading a book on the bench, not paying any attention to her young daughter.

"Hi, Mr.! What's your name? I'm Lily!" **(1)**

Edward turned and gave a sad smile Lily. "Nice to meet you, Lily. I'm Ed."

The young girl gave Edward a big smile, then her face turned into confusion and concern. "Why are you sad Ed?"

"I-I'm not sad..."

Lily pouted. "Yes you are! Why?"

"Um, well..." Edward sighed and admitted defeat. He might as well tell the girl.

Tears rolled down his cheeks before he could stop them. "I went into work today, and my boss said some really mean things about me. It hurt my feelings so I quit."

Roy was walking right in front of the park, and he paused in front of it. He pointed to Roy.

"Lily, do you see him? That's my boss. I'm hiding because I don't want him to know where I am."

"That Mr. hurt your feelings?"

Edward nodded. Lily gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, Eddie!"

Lily's mother called for her. "Bye Eddie!" She yelled over her tiny shoulder.

The blonde waved goodbye. He went back to thinking about what Roy said to him.

* * *

Roy sighed as he turned around. Back to the park. He couldn't shake that feeling. He saw a that little girl walking away from the park, holding her mother's hand. Roy stopped cold when he heard one of the girl's sentences.

"And his name was Ed! He's my friend! But he was really sad... he was crying!"

"Oh really sweetie, why was he crying?" Her mother asked.

"'Cause his boss is really mean!"

"Oh. I feel sorry for the poor dear... Well come along, sweetie, your father will be home soon..."

Roy tuned out the rest of the conversation between the mother and daughter.

She was talking about Ed. That means... Edward was at the park.

With newfound energy, Roy ran to the park.

Edward was there. He was there. In front of him.

"Edward?" He asked cautiously.

Said teen looked like he had just seen a ghost. He wiped furiously at his eyes, but it was no use. Roy had already seen those crystal tears.

"W-what do you want? I left for your sake, so go away!"

Roy felt like he had just gotten slapped. Ed left for _his_ sake. Not his own. Edward wasn't selfish...

A small, somber voice interrupted his thoughts. "You were right."

"Right about what?"

"Everything. I'm worthless, selfish, I screw everything up. No one wants me. You were right.

"No Edward. I wasn't right."

"You were. Everything you said was true."

"Everything I said was a lie."

"Not to me." Edward protested.

"Well it should be."

Edward looked up, tears in the golden orbs. "Doesn't matter, I quit the military."

"Well, I'm signing you back up." Roy argued back.

"You can't do that." Edward said in disbelief.

"As your commanding officer I can."

"You mean as my _former_ commanding officer."

Roy had nothing to say to that. So Edward chose to speak his mind.

"Look Mustang, you were right. I am all those things you listed. You don't know what I've gone through. You never will."

'_You have no idea... I just saw everything...' _Roy thought to himself.

"Look, Edward I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

"I AM! Please! Forgive me!" Roy hated sounding so weak, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

The somber voice echoed through the night. "It's too late to ask for forgiveness."

_TO BE CONTINUED_

**(1) Yes, I made up Lily.**

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	6. A Real Monster

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**Special thanks: FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom and THANK YOU!**

**OMFG! I AM SO SORRY! I haven't been ignoring this story, or any of my parental stories, but I have been writing the ones I have inspiration for, so here it is!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!**

**Chapter Six:**

_A Real Monster_

"Look, Mustang... Maybe I will forgive you, eventually. But right now, I just can't."

Obsidian eyes looked downcast. "You can't?"

Edward shook his golden head. "Not yet..." And then the petite teen walked away from him.

_'What am I going to do now? The Truth never said what would happen to me if he didn't forgive me...'_

Roy trudged away from the park, his desire to be there diminished since Edward had already left. He didn't know what to do now, The Truth had said this was his toll, apologizing to Ed, but the blonde would not forgive him...

Somehow, Roy had the feeling The Truth would not let him off the hook about this...

Instead of going back to headquarters, for Riza had said not to if he didn't have Edward, he walked home. As he unlocked his front door, he realized just how exhausted searching for Fullmetal really was. So, like any twenty nine year old man, he decided to take a nap.

He walked to his bedroom and immediately fell back onto his bed with his soft navy comforter. Roy's eyes lowered and soon, he was off in dreamland.

* * *

Roy looked at his surroundings. Damn. White. White everywhere. The Gate.

"Hello, Flame Alchemist." That eerie voice called in greeting.

Fuck. He was right. "Hello, Truth."

"My, my, Flame Alchemist, aren't you wondering why you are here?"

_'Why am I here? Ah, damn, Edward...'_

The white silhouette spoke again. "That's right Flame Alchemist, I told you to apologize, for that was your toll to see that young alchemists past, and he has not forgiven you."

Roy waited. He figured there was going to be a punishment, there always was.

"Ah, yes, your punishment..." The Truth thought for a second, then lifted up it's white pointer finger signaling The Truth had an idea. "I'll just make you continue to see that young alchemists past!" It said with a shit-eating grin.

Oh. My. Gate. Roy did not want that. He was pretty sure he would rather go blind **(1) **than have to witness Edward's past. That was hell right there.

"So you think what you saw before was hell? Just wait..."

* * *

Roy was not with in the Gate anymore, he was not with The Truth at first, he was glad he wasn't with that creep anymore. Then he looked around him. And his heart almost stopped beating right then and there.

Risembool. The place of Edward's and Alphonse's birth. The place were Roy had just witnessed their past. Obsidian eyes took in their surroundings. It looked as if he was in a school yard of a sort. Then he heard a loud bell ring. **(2)**

_'Ah, so it is Edward's school.'_ He knew he would not be any place the past Edward was not, so he knew this was Ed's school. Besides, there was only one elementary school in the small town of Risembool.

The kids, eager to get home, rushed out in uncoordinated lines. Roy spotted the golden hair of his future subordinate, Edward Elric. He was talking to Alphonse Elric and Winry Rockbell.

Winry was currently complaining because the boys wouldn't tell her about the 'strange books' they were reading during class. Roy knew this was before the transmutation, besides the fact that Alphonse was still flesh and blood, and Edward had all four limbs, it was because of their faces. Edward looked around seven, maybe eight. Roy also figured out that this was before Trisha was dead. She was bedridden, but alive. She had demanded the boys go to school.

While walking the path to the way home, Edward stopped dead in the middle of his step. A look of fear registering on his young, chubby face. He quickly put on a mask with a smile, so his brother and best friend wouldn't notice.

"Whoops, I forgot something... Al, Win, you go back without me, okay? I'll be home soon."

Al studied his older brother, then nodded. "Yes, brother. I'll tell mom. You sure you don't just want me to wait?"

Ed gave a smile that only Roy could tell was fake. "Yeah, I'm sure, besides, mom's sick, and I don't want her to worry if both of us come home late."

The youngest Elric nodded. "You're right, see you later, Brother!"

"See you later, Ed!" Winry called.

"Yea, see you later..." Edward's voice was suddenly somber, and far too serious for a child of his age and stature.

The young Edward waited until both his brother and Winry were out of sight, happily chatting to each other, before he turned and walked back to the school yard. Roy followed the young boy like a lost puppy.

A few steps into the green lawn, and Roy heard the voices of teenagers. "Hey look, the runt decided to show up after all."

"I'M NOT A RUNT!" Ed yelled at the far taller teen. "Now what the hell do you want anyway?"

"Aw, you eager to get home and take care of your dying mother?"

_'Ah, yet another person to add to my list of 'People To Punch For Upsetting Edward.' This brat will go right under The Truth...'_ Roy thought to himself, but continued to watch as this scene unfolded before his eyes.

"SHE'S NOT DYING!" The poor young boy yelled. At seven years old, you assumed that your mother would never die, that she would live forever. Roy knew that Edward was about to stop believing that.

"Yeah she is. My mom's a friend of hers, she heard the doctor herself say Trisha wouldn't make it!" The teenage boy yelled.

"WELL YOUR MOM IS A LYING BITCH!" Edward yelled back, automatically falling to defense mode for his mother.

Roy was taken aback. The colonel had known the young boy cussed, such as 'shit', 'damn', 'hell' and 'bastard' but he had never known he would call someone else's mom a bitch.

There was a echoing slap, and the petite blonde fell to the ground, his cheek bright red with a mark of a hand.

Another teenager in the small group yelled out. "HA! And his father ran away too! Couldn't stand to be around the brat so he picked up his shit and ran!"

_'Oh. My. Gate.' _If Roy had thought his heart was going to stop before, it definitely was now. '_That's what I said about Hohenheim... That he couldn't stand to be around Edward... I am the worst bastard ever...'_

_'Damn right you are.'_ That ever-so-helpful voice called from the back of his mind.

"HE DIDN'T RUN AWAY! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Ed yelled as he stood up, once again in defense mode.

A knee was stabbed into the small boy's stomach, sending him staggering to regain balance.

"Ha! Pathetic! Look at him! He's an orphan already! Nobody wants him! He's completely worthless! No one will ever love a monster like him! Pathetic little shorty!" The leader of the group yelled in the blonde's face, before turning on his heel and leaving the yard, his posse following behind.

Roy wanted to burn them all. None of them had any reason to say that.

_'And neither did you.'_ That voice whispered. _'That was just like what you said... So that makes it twice he's heard that... No wonder he can't forgive you...'_

Those teenagers were wrong.

Edward wasn't a monster.

He was the only real monster.

_TO BE CONTINUED!_

**Review!**

**(1) Do you get the FMA:B joke?! XD**

**(2) I made this up, in case you couldn't tell! Never happened in the series, just this fanfiction.**


	7. Just How Much Pain

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**Hey! Just for you, I'm trying to update this more! **

**A/N Ha! My older sister is graduating today, so what do I do? WRITE FANFICTIONS INSTEAD! YEAH!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA**

**Chapter Seven:**

_Just How Much Pain_

Roy watched, broken hearted, as the young Edward got up from the ground. The blonde picked himself up from the ground, dusting himself off, wincing when he hit his stomach.

The colonel wanted to simply pick the bruised boy up, cradle Ed in his arms, and run off to go burn those fuckers that hurt Ed.

Yes, that was a wonderful plan indeed, but there were a couple things that made it impossible.

1) He could not touch Edward, or anyone else

2) No one could actually see him

Well, that put a damper on his day. When Ed started to walk back, away from the yard and towards his home, Roy made sure he followed.

As he was walking, he couldn't help but think about what 'those fuckers' (as Roy so rightfully dubbed them) had said.

_'What kind of man makes fun of a child... And his sick mother? Who the hell does that?' _Roy thought angrily. _'And they just_ **_had_**_ to go and mention that bastard too.'_

_'Damn.' _Roy cursed. '_Why am I getting so protective over him... Like a father would, or something...'_

Thoughts of why raced through his mind, and before he knew it, they were back at the Elric household. Walking in after Edward had opened the door, he watched as the boy immediately made his way towards his mothers bed.

"Mom?" The small voice asked. "How're you feeling?"

It pained Roy to see Trisha again, for he knew what would happen to her, but she coughed and gave a small smile. "Oh, don't worry about me-" She coughed lightly again. "Dear, tell me why you're all covered in bruise!" She was going into protective mother mode "Was it kids at school? I'll go down there and give them a good lecture to never hurt my little man again!"

The sick, dying woman struggled to try to sit up in her bed, but Edward took his still-flesh right arm and pushed her down lightly. Ed gave a small smile to his mother. "Don't worry mom, I just tripped and fell." Ed was trying to save his mom the trouble, so he lied.

"Dear, don't lie to your mother." Was Trisha's reply.

Edward looked shocked that his lie hadn't worked, but knew his mother could always tell when he was lying or not. "It's nothing you need to worry about, honest." Ed paused "Why don't you sleep for a bit?"

Trisha nodded and closed her eyes, being so sick was wearing her petite body out.

After seeing that unfold before him, Roy realized that Edward had always been that way, always trying to save people the 'trouble' of knowing his pain. He didn't want anyone to know. Was it because of his pride? Or his selflessness?

Roy knew that this wasn't the first time Ed had gone through this.

* * *

Obsidian eyes opened with a jolt. He sat up in his bed. Was this going to happen every time he slept? Or until he was forgiven? All Roy knew for sure was that these dreams terrified him. Seeing Edward's past like this... It was painful.

It was hard to imagine the great Fullmetal Alchemist, Hero of The People, getting bullied like that. Yeah, Roy knew that he was younger then and those kids were twice as old as he was, and twice the size too.

Roy was more tired than usual. All his body wanted to do was sleep, but his mind didn't want him to sleep. He knew this feeling of exhaustion was part of The Truth's toll. The Truth wanted him to sleep, so that way, Roy got the full extent of his 'punishment'.

The colonel lifted a hand to his mouth as he yawned. Holy Gate, was he tired.

Well, maybe... If he took a short nap, he wouldn't have those dreams... Yeah, that was worth a shot.

And once more, the raven haired man fell into dreamland, not knowing the awful things he was about to witness.

* * *

Roy looked around him. A hallway, full of different doors. Ah, so he was in Ed's school this time, not outside...

"WAIT! Dammit! I'm not supposed to be here! WAKE UP, ROY!" He yelled to himself, the small children around him oblivious to his fake existence here.

_'You can only wake up when I say so...'_ The Truth's voice echoed in his mind._ 'So since I won't let you wake up yet, enjoy the show, Flame Alchemist.'_

Dammit! He wasn't going to "enjoy the show!" There was nothing enjoyable about watching Edward suffer! Roy sighed, he knew he had lost this round with The Truth. Roy tried to be optimistic. _  
_

"Maybe it won't be that bad.." Roy muttered to himself as he walked down the hall, somehow knowing where Edward was.

Young seven year old Edward stepped out of his classroom, and into the hall. How many times will Roy's heart brake when seeing this? As soon as Edward stepped into the crowded hall, the kids around him shoved to the side, desperate to get out of the blonde's path.

Edward walked down the hall, face stoic, as the crowd around him parted, making him a path he would walk down alone.

"But why?" Roy asked himself. His questions were answered when he saw the kids "whisper" to each other. The "whispers" was really just as loud as normal talking. The colonel knew Ed could hear these comments.

"Look, it's that kid. Ed... He's so stupid, I mean sure, he's a genius or whatever but, he doesn't have to answer _every _question in class..." One kid said to the group around him.

"He's such a freak. He know's everything in class. He's. A. Freak." A young girl said to the other girl next to her.

A boy muttered something to himself. "The only friends he has are his brother and that Rockbell girl. I bet he bribes them by doing their homework so they'll play with him." Kids around him nodded in agreement.

"DAMMIT! YOU ARE ALL GOING ON MY 'TO BURN' LIST! YOU LITTLE BRATS!" Roy yelled at the kids around him, knowing they couldn't hear him. Each comment was getting Roy's temper more and more fired up.

It was clear these words hurt Edward, but the young boy was trying so, _so_ hard to keep his face emotionless.

* * *

Roy woke up once more. He never wanted to sleep again, but knew that was impossible. Why were kids so _awful_ to him? Just because he was smart, and had two friends, one of them being his younger brother? Just because his mother was sick, and his bastard of a father ran off?

Why were these kids saying these mean things to Edward? Ed had never done anything wrong to them, he would've seen it first. Just because Edward was different, he was excluded from the group of kids?

Yes, Edward was smarter than most kids, most adults actually.

Yes, Edward only had two friends, one of them bring his younger brother.

Yes, Edward had a sick mother, and a father who ran off.

Yes, Edward had all those things, but why was he a freak? Why did no one seem to like him?

Roy had never wanted to burn so many people. Hohenheim. The Truth. Those little brats at his school. Roy didn't know what to do, it was fascinating, seeing Ed's past like no one else ever had. It was intriguing, to be able to know so many new things about Ed.

But it was horrifying all at the same time.

Roy was mentally burning himself. How could he say those things to Ed? Yes, he had a bad dad, but in general, Edward had a bad _life__. _And he was certantly not helping the poor boy's day become any easier for him.

But, the colonel had two questions that he would like the answers to.

Just how much pain would Edward still have to go through?

How much pain could Edward handle?

Just.

How.

Much.

Pain?

_TO BE CONTINUED!_

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	8. Gotten Through This

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**Hope you're happy with how often I am updating!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA**

**Chapter Eight:**

_Gotten Through This_

Roy couldn't take it any longer. He needed sleep. His body was screaming at him to close his eye lids and drift to sleep. But he couldn't let that happen. Sleep meant dreams. And dreams meant Edward's past.

And Edward's past meant pain.

Roy shut his eyes and rubbed at his temples. No sleep was really getting to him, and he didn't have Riza to keep him awake with her gun, seeing as Edward had not forgiven him, thus, his other subordinates haven't forgiven him either. And Hawkeye had said that he would stay home, not coming to the office until Edward was ready to forgive him.

At first, Roy thought that was pretty awesome, just getting to stay home, but then Riza explained that he wasn't doing paperwork at the office, he was going to be doing it at home.

When Roy had first seen those huge piles of paperwork, he knew, without a doubt, that Riza had doubled his usual paperwork, as her own miniature form of revenge for him.

Damn. Riza was one protective mother figure.

Roy's eyes were closed, and he struggled to not just simply drift off to sleep.

When Roy opened his eyes he was standing in the vast white room once more. "Why hello there, Flame Alchemist, do you wish to make an exchange?"

The colonel nodded. "I want to."

A smile grew on the white silhouette. "Why, do tell, Flame Alchemist, what do you wish to get, and in exchange for what?"

Roy stated his desire without hesitation. "I want to have one night off peaceful sleep, with no dreams of Edward's past."

The Truth nodded it's head, then contemplated the proposition for a moment. "Fine, and in exchange, Flame Alchemist, you'll feel the same pain that young alchemist has, for three hours starting when you awake tomorrow morning."

"What do you mean?"

The Truth wore a shit-eating grin. "Why, you remember that boy has gotten his limbs ripped from his body right? I know I remember... I was the one who ripped them off." The grin grew on the otherwise blank face. "And then went through what you weak humans call 'automail surgery'. That hurts you know..."

Obsidian eyes widened. "You want..."

"That's right... So what do you say, Flame Alchemist."

Roy's eyelids were currently demanding to shut, Roy didn't know what was going through his head when he said 'yes' to The Truth's offer. Maybe it was just sleep deprivation.

When Roy opened his eyes, he was lying in his bed.

He shut his eyes, and didn't fear when sleep took over his body.

At least he didn't fear it tonight.

* * *

Roy awoke with a sharp, agonizing pain in his right arm and left leg.

The deal had taken effect.

For the next three hours, he was going to feel the pain of automail surgery. Damn. How had Ed gone through this when he was so young? Roy was almost prepared to scream in pain.

So, Roy did the only thing he could do. He slept.

But even as he was asleep, both the dreams and the pain plagued him.

* * *

Roy opened his eyes. Once more, he was at Ed's school.

_'So help me if __**one**__ kid even says a __**single**__, little, itty-bitty comment, __**I**__**don't**__**care**__ how __**minor**__ it is... I'm __**burning**__ them __**all**__ to a __**crisp**__.' _Roy thought menacingly. Edward had been hurt enough, he didn't need more.

The first thing he saw made him wish he had his ignition gloves on his hands right then.

Edward was the center of a mosh pit **(1)**. Older, bigger kids were circled around young, small Edward. They were viciously pushing him back and forth, around and around. Each time Ed got to a new person, they would say a horrible, cruel comment, before shoving Ed back across the circle once more.

There Ed was, trapped inside that circle.

And Roy couldn't do shit about it.

"Hey freak! You're worthless you know that?! Nobody wants you!"

Observers watching this laughed at the bullies comment. When one of the kids shoved Edward to the ground, and the blonde didn't get back up, they grew bored and left.

The young boy shakily stood up, his little arms had bruises from that rough handling he had. He whipped the tears from his golden eyes, and Roy wished he could hold Ed, and wipe the kid's tears away himself.

It was lunchtime. Edward had gotten the usual 'freak' and 'loser' remarks, but no more physical bullying today, as of yet. No teacher had cared about what had happened to the elder Elric brother, so those boys went unpunished.

Every time the raven haired man took a step or moved his arm, pain would shoot through his body.

How had Edward gotten through this pain?

How had Edward gotten through _any_ of this?

_TO BE CONTINUED_

**Sorry for such a short chapter, the next one will be longer!**

**(1) A mosh pit is when a group of people circle one person, and shove them back and forth in the middle, passing the person in the middle along by pushing them to the next. Usually results in an injury for the person in the middle. And also, usually the person in the middle did not want to be in the middle, the other people just chose them.**

**Review!**


	9. Listen To The Voice

**Review!**

**A/N My laptop is in commission for a bit, so I don't know when I'll be able to update. I'm writing this on my desktop, which is extremely old and slow. The keyboard is awful. I'm a fast typer, but even this short A/N has taken about five minutes to type.**

**+++NOTE+++ I have decided that this will be strictly Parental!RoyEd. Even though I love RoyEd together romantically, seeing as they are my OTP, I think this fanfiction will be JUST parental. But I do not think I will do many, if any, Parental!RoyEd fanfictions after this one.  
**

**Chapter Nine:**

_Listen To The Voice_

It was after school, and Roy was still watching. The colonel was being forced to watch this poor little blonde boy get shoved and hit, teased and threatened.

His heart really was breaking.

"Why don't you just die already! No one wants you here, you freak!" One of the meaner kids crowed.

"Why would I do that? You bastard!" The young Ed yelled back in response.

Roy had to hand it to the kid, he could certainly hold his own against those bullies.

Kids were assholes. That was all there was to it.

Fourteen shoves, three kicks and twelve punches later, Ed was alone. Roy didn't know how such a young kid could take those kinds of hits. But, the blonde did not give up.

_'Maybe it's because he's used to it.' _The guilt inducing part of his mind whispered to him.

No. That couldn't be why.

But after once more looking at the kid who was covered in bruises, pushing himself up from the ground where he had been left lying. Edward was staggering was staggering down the road, desperately trying to go home to see his sick and dying mother.

Ed was strong.

And after seeing what Roy has seen about his subordinate, he didn't know if he could ever go back to the mean teasing and cruel words he had constantly spoken to the teen.

The raven haired man's right arm and left leg were pulsing in pain. He had to bite his lip to keep from releasing an agony filled scream.

* * *

Roy's eyelids flew open. He was awake again. But the pain in his two limbs had not ceased.

He gripped his right shoulder with his left hand. Damn that Truth. Now that creep really was on his 'to burn' list.

The colonel knew he couldn't walk, for the pain in his leg was already unbearable. Instead, he settled for grabbing the alchemy book from his nightstand and while holding the book in his left hand, he read the familiar pages of complicated text.

* * *

Ed paced back and forth in his dorm. He didn't know what to do. To forgive Roy, or not to forgive Roy, that was the question here.

Really, he didn't know what to do. Roy had said such awful things to him. Hurtful, awful words had come out of the colonel's mouth. And they could not be taken back.

They both knew that. They both knew they couldn't be taken back... Edward knew that well. But... Roy had come looking for him. Roy had pleaded for forgiveness. Roy had... Apologized to him.

"Maybe I should forgive him..." Ed mused to himself.

_'After what he said to you?' _The grudge holding part of his mind whispered.

"Yeah, even though he did say those things... I think I can forgive him."

_'Are you sure you can do that?' _That voice in his mind asked him.

"Yes. I'm sure." The blonde responded.

* * *

The pain had gone away a few minutes ago, seeing as it had been three hours. But that did not put Roy's mind to rest. How had Ed handled that pain at such a young age? How had he gone through that, without crying out? Without screaming in agony? How had Ed gotten through that?

It made Roy feel guilty that for some reason, Ed had gone through that torture alone. Roy had seen first hand that Edward had never complained about that pain. Never. Not to Winry. Not to Pinako. And definitely not to Alphonse.

Oh, how he wished Edward would forgive him...

But he wasn't holding his breath about that.

There was a knock on his door, interrupted his thoughts. Since he could now stand on both legs, he walked over. He was expecting Riza to be there, gun aimed for his head.

But when he opened the door, it wasn't an angry Riza Hawkeye there.

It was a nervous Edward Elric.

"Fullmetal? What are you doing here?" Roy asked softly, not wanting to scare the blonde.

"Uh, you see..." Ed paused, carefully selecting his words.

Ed's mind would not stop whispering to him._ 'Do you honestly think that Mustang will just allow you to forgive him like this? After you dismissed him like that?'_

"I thought about it a lot... And..."

Roy was anxious. What was Edward going to say?

"I've decided to forgive you." The young alchemist finished.

Obsidian eyes widened in surprise. Roy had not been expecting those words to come from Edward's lips.

But they did.

"Edward? Really? After what I said to you, you are willing to forgive me?" The colonel asked, shocked.

The blonde simply gave a small smile. "Yeah." Was all he said.

* * *

The Flame and Fullmetal Alchemist were both sitting on the black couch in Roy's living room. If one of the subordinates had seen them like this, they would have never assumed that these two males were the actual colonel and major who were constantly arguing.

Because the alchemists sitting on the couch were getting along, and they were being friendly towards one another.

Roy broke the comfortable silence they had both been wrapped in. "Edward?" He called, going by first name now that the situation was more comfortable.

"What?" Ed replied to his superior officer.

There was a pregnant pause before Roy spoke again. "...You know I care about you, right?"

Golden eyes grew large. Roy couldn't mean that. After what he had said. After all the teasing... He doesn't care. The only person who cared about him was his brother, Al.

"We all care about you. Hawkeye, Fuery, Havoc, Breda, Falman and I. We all care about you, and Alphonse." Roy's tone was sincere as he spoke to the teen. "You really are like family to us."

"Really?" Ed asked incredulously. He cared for those six like family as well. But he never thought that someone who had sinned as he has, could be accepted and cared for by innocent people like them.

Innocent. That was the wrong word. Those six people were killers. Roy and Riza had been in the Ishvalen war. And who knew about the other four? Commands were commands, and they were dogs. Good dogs follow the orders they are given. Good dogs do not repent against their master and rebel. Good dogs do what they are told, when they are told. Good dogs carry out their orders whether they like it or not.

And those six people, which Ed cared for deeply... They were good dogs. Each and every last one of them... A good dog.

But Ed... Ed was not a good dog. He rebelled. He repented. He did not carry out orders completely. He did not kill when told to kill.

He was a bad dog.

"Yes, really." Roy chuckled, interrupting his thoughts. "Is it that hard to believe that someone cares about you and your brother?" He asked seriously.

Edward gave a mirthless laugh. "You said so yourself, didn't you? No one wants me."

Roy scowled. "I told you to forget about that."

"How am I supposed to forget about something like that?" The blonde asked.

The raven haired man had to admit... After what he said, he shouldn't expect Edward to forget about it so easily.

That wasn't possible.

"Well I better get going, Mustang." Ed said as he stood up from the couch and stretched. "I stayed longer then I meant to..." He muttered as he looked at the window, where there was a lovely view of the setting sun.

Edward walked towards the door. "I only came to tell you that all is forgiven..." _'But not forgotten'_ His mind whispered.

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, in the office. Right, Fullmetal?" The colonel asked, returning to the use of the teens state title.

"Yeah, yeah. Right _Flame._" Edward answered as he used his superior officers state title mockingly. "See ya tomorrow." Fullmetal said dismissively.

After Ed closed the door, Roy smiled to himself. He was glad all was forgiven.

Now maybe... He could finally get some sleep.

* * *

Edward stripped of his shirt and pants shortly after he had walked inside of his dorm. He was exhausted. Sitting on his bed in his pale blue boxers, he realized he was alone.

"Al must be taking a walk..." He muttered to himself.

Since Al could not sleep, the suit of armor was constantly taking walks late at night, to distract himself from the ability of having dreams, which Al currently did not possess.

"It's my fault he can't sleep..." The blonde whispered.

Edward resigned himself from his guilty thoughts and lied back onto his pillow, shutting his golden eyes.

As he was falling into the clutches of sleep, a familiar voice echoed in his head.

A voice he had never wanted to hear again.

The voice called to him.  
_'Young alchemist... Do you want to know the real reason the Flame Alchemist pleaded for forgiveness?'_

Yes. He wanted to know.

_'Then I'll tell you... I'll tell you everything."_

The voice whispered to him.

He would know.

He would know everything.

All he had to do...

Was listen to the voice.

_TO BE CONTINUED!_

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**Hope you liked it!**


	10. This Toll To Pay

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**A/N Ha! I got so many reviews complaining about my little cliffhanger added right there at end! Haha!**

**+++Note+++ I'm typing this from my iPhone, so please forgive any typos there are. The keyboard on this damn device sucks. The fucking spell check changes the word 'him' to 'humid'. I hope you appreciate the hell I go through just to please you. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!**

**Dedicated to Payton-chan!**

**Chapter Ten:**

_This Toll To Pay_

Edward didn't know if he dared open his eyes. The voice whispered to him. The voice said it was okay. It told him to open his eyes.

So, like a good dog, he opened his eyes.

He took in his surroundings. White. White as far as the eye could see. An endless void, with a single white silhouette sitting there. Ed didn't need to turn around to know gigantic gate was behind him.

The figure spoke. "So, you wish to know why the Flame Alchemist asked you for forgiveness?"

The blonde answered immediately. "Yes, I want to know."

The Truth grinned. It had been hoping the young alchemist would say that. "Fine then. I'll tell you everything."

Edward didn't know if he was truly prepared for whatever information the Truth was about to give him. This could change everything between him and Roy. Instead of looking at Roy like a father figure, he could become an enemy. There were many 'ifs' and things that Ed was not sure of.

But one thing was for sure.

This would change everything.

"Well you see, young alchemist, I decided to make the Flame Alchemist pay his toll." The Truth began. "He hurt you... So in return, he had to experience all the pain you had gone through."

Before Ed could question this, the Truth explained.

"I made him see everything. All those hardships you went through as a child. I made him watch it. Every time he closed his eyes... He would see your past." The Truth gave an ugly smirk before continuing. "How do you think the Flame Alchemist felt after seeing those memories of yours? Do you really think his opinion of you wouldn't change?"

The Truth didn't give Ed a moment to answer.

"Of course this effected his opinion of you. All those things he had said to you that morning... All those awful, cruel things... He meant them. He meant every word. But... After seeing what I made him see... I told him to apologize."

Seeing the horrified, shocked look on the teens face, the Truth spoke again.

"Yes, I made the Flame Alchemist apologize to you. If you forgave him... He would stop seeing the dreams." There was a pause. "He would stop seeing your awful past."

Edward couldn't believe it. Roy had only asked for his forgiveness... So he could stop having those dreams?

"The Flame Alchemist never truly meant that apology. He never cared if he got your forgiveness. He only wanted the dreams to stop... And since your forgave him... He will no longer be plagued by your memories."

The Fullmetal Alchemist was having a hard time accepting this offered information.

But what if it was true.

Was what the Truth saying really true? **(1)**

Edward shut his golden eyes, struggling to believe this... But the Truth had no reason to lie to him.

The blonde opened his eyes. But then he realized that he was not in the room of white, but back in his dorm. He wasn't mad at colonel Mustang... He was... Sad.

He should have known. Edward should have known that Roy had meant what he said that day in the office. He should have known that Roy would only apologize if there was personal gain for him.

He should have known Roy never cared about him.

* * *

Roy sighed as he rested his head on his pillow.

He was happy. He was happy the Fullmetal Alchemist forgave him.

He was sorry about what he had said that day in the office. He didn't mean any of those things. He had been in a horrible mood, and he had taken it out on Edward.

But now all was forgiven.

_'But is it __**really**__?' _A voice in his mind whispered to him. _'Did Fullmetal really forgive__** everything**__, just like that?'_

Now Roy was questioning that 'forgiveness' Edward had given him. The teen had held a grudge against his father for leaving, and still hates that man. Why would he forgive Roy so suddenly, after the colonel had been so cruel?

Did Ed really forgive him?

Could they ever go back to being the father and son figures they had been?

That's what the raven haired man wanted, right now more than anything. He wanted things to go back to the way they were, before he had been such an ass to the blonde.

But nothing could ever be the same again, could it?

Roy supposed not. Things would always be different now. But for better or worse? This father and son relationship Edward and Roy had shared... He had destroyed it.

The Flame Alchemist had destroyed their relationship like he had destroyed Ishval.

He was a murderer.

How could Edward forgive him? How could he ever ask for forgiveness from Ed, after all the pain the teen had been through? After all that Roy had said? After everything that had happened?

That was selfish of him... To ever even _think_ for a _moment_ that he could be forgiven...

The Truth was right.

He had caused so much pain...

A toll must be payed.

Roy must pay this toll... In exchange for all the pain he had brought to Edward...

* * *

Edward shut his eyes tightly. He didn't want to think about how Roy never cared about him.

It pained him, to admit to himself... That the colonel never cared. He had simply wanted the dreams to stop.

As Ed drifted off to sleep, he couldn't help but wonder...

What would Roy dream of tonight?

* * *

Roy was ready to pay his toll... But, right now, sleep was in order.

Obsidian eyes shut.

Edward had said that he had forgiven Roy.

He should go back to dreaming of hot girls in tiny mini skirts. **(2)**

But as he fell into the clutches of sleep...

He realized something...

He was not dreaming of hot girls in tiny mini skirts.

No. Not at all.

He was back in hell.

This toll would be paid.

This toll would be paid _now._

This toll _must_ be paid.

_TO BE CONTINUED!_

**Review! Hope you liked it! **

**(1) How did you like that little irony?**

**(2) Ha! If you remember correctly, that was one of the last sentences in the first chapter! "Usually he dreamed of hot girls in tiny mini skirts... This time it was different, ****_very_**** different." BLAH BLAH BLAH!**


	11. Never Will Be

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**A/N I know, I haven't updated in _forever_... But I have a good excuse! I was trying to come up with something very "traumatic" for you guys to read... I hope you enjoy!  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA!  
**

**Dedicated to Payton-chan! Love you forever, my darling mother!  
**

**Chapter Eleven:**

_Never Will Be_

Roy opened his obsidian eyes, prepared for the worst.

He hadn't prepared himself enough.

Whatever he had thought was going to happen in this dream... It was nothing compared to what was actually happening.

The colonel was standing in a park playground. There should've been children, laughing and playing. Getting along and making new friends, or playing with imaginary ones.

That was not what Roy was seeing.

In the center of the park was a circle of kids. Varying from the ages of ten to fifteen. And then, there was a golden haired boy trapped in the center.

There was no pushing and no shoving. Just words that the boy in the center would never forget.

"We all hate you! Why don't you just go away!" One of the kids crowed from their position in the circle.

Another kid tantalized the blonde. "Your own father hates you so much that he abandoned your entire family! If your so awful that your own father didn't want you, then no one else wants you either!"

The small Edward crouched downwards, placing his head between his knees, trying in vain to block out the coldly spoken words.

"I bet your mom is _happy_ she's dying! Just so she can get away from _you_!" A tawny haired teenager with green eyes yelled. **(A/N Remember this guy if you read the _extra scene_.)**

"IF I HAD MY GLOVES I'D BURN YOU ALL!" Roy yelled with malice in his voice.

The Flame Alchemist had never wanted to _burn_ _someone_ so _badly._ But he had to admit, he was _very _protective of Edward.

And for a good reason, too.

"Get up, you freak!" A older girl yelled.

Edward stood up. He was trying so very hard to keep his face impassive. An emotionless mask.

But his mask was slipping.

At seven years old... You can't always have a perfect mask.

The tallest boy in the group said his comment next. "You're useless! Worthless!You'll never amount to anything! You're always going to be a failure! You fail _everything_ you do, and you always will!"

"I'M GOING TO BURN YOU FUCKERS!" Roy threatened the kids, even though he knew they couldn't hear him. He was mentally planning his trip to Risembool right now, and getting all of their addresses... Then burning their houses to the ground.

_'One by one. Burrrrrnnnnn them.'_ Roy's mind whispered.

Of course, Roy knew that he wouldn't _actually_ burn them to _death_... Just to the point of near death. Hey, whatever works, right?

What kind of playground was this, anyway? Why weren't there any adults here? Why wasn't anyone standing up to these bullies? Why wouldn't someone defend Ed?

Why wouldn't any one help this poor little blonde boy?

"I bet your brother hates you too!" A pretty girl yelled.

The mask was falling off.

Tears pricked the golden eyes of the seven year old boy.

Did his brother really hate him?

But he did not let the tears fall.

"HEY LOOK!" A girl screeched to her friends. "The little boy is crying!"

Still, no tears fell down his cheeks.

He lowered himself to the ground, and placed his finger in the ground, carving a circle in the soft dirt. Drawing the lines and symbols necessary, he was about to clap his hand when a older boy yelled, alerting the others.

"What the FUCK is he DOING?"

None of the kids or teenagers knew.

Edward clapped his chubby hands and was about to slam them on the rim of the transmutation circle, but right before his palms made contact with the circle, the same tawny haired boy with green eyes ran up to the small boy and kicked him in the stomach, knocking him away from the circle.

Roy's temper snapped. "I WILL FIND YOU AND WHEN I DO, I'M GOING TO FUCKING BURN YOU!"

A different teenager kicked Edward in his side.

The colonel yelled again. "GET READY TO BURN IN HELL, YOU FUCKERS!"

He wanted to wake up. He didn't want to see Ed get hurt anymore.

It was time to end this.

* * *

Roy woke up, bolting upright in his bed.

He would never be able to look at a playground the same way again.

He needed to find Ed, and forget his own pride, and plead for forgiveness. He didn't just want Ed's forgiveness so the dreams would stop. That will be nice, when he no longer has to see the dreams, but... He wanted Edward's forgiveness because he cared about Ed. He really did care.

But there was something he didn't understand.

Fullmetal had said that all was forgiven, and the Truth had said that the dreams would stop when the young alchemist forgave him.

So why hadn't the dreams that had been plaguing him left?

Was not all forgiven and forgotten?

That was when the Truth whispered to him.

_"Not all is forgiven. __Oh, and it's certainly not forgotten."_

The Truth paused for a moment before whispering it's final eerie sentence.

_"And it never will be."_

_TO BE CONTINUED!_

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**Hope you enjoyed!**

* * *

**_EXTRA SCENE: (Holds no importance to the actual story, just for fun, and that A/N early will now make sense.)_**

_Somewhere in Risembool:_

A tawny haired man with green eyes awoke with a start. He was _terrified_. A cold sweat was dripping down his face.

That was the worst nightmare of his _life_.

He was about to pee the bed.

He had just relived a day of his teenage life. He had been standing in the park, in the group that circled a blonde kid... What was his name? Oh, that's right... Edward Elric.

He remembered that comment he yelled to that poor boy. _"I bet your mom is **happy** she's dying! Just so she can get away from **you!**"  
_

But this time, something was different.

A voice, coming from a person he could not see... Had threatened to burn him.

He recalled that he had kicked the young Edward in the stomach... About that weird circle thing.

And that same voice... Had said that they were going to find him. And burn him alive.

Well, now he knew it was time to get the fuck out of Risembool.

* * *

**Told you it was just for fun.**

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	12. Just Fine

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**A/N Warning- possible OOC in this chapter. I don't know, nor do I really care.  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA! Sigh, why must I be reminded of this sad fact every single time? T-T  
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**Dedicated to: Payton-chan, my special butterfly!  
**

**Chapter Twelve:**

_Just Fine_

Edward awoke to a loud pounding on his dorm room door. After several minutes of deciding whether or not to answer said door, he finally dragged himself out of his warm bed with a groan.

Who the _fuck_ was knocking at his door this early in the fucking morning?

He groggily rubbed his eyes with his flesh hand and placed his metal hand on the doorknob, far too tired to think about asking who was on the other side of the door before allowing entryway to whoever was outside his door.

* * *

The door was opening, and Roy's heartbeat was quickening.

He couldn't answer any of the questions that kept popping into his mind.

What if the Truth was right? What if all was not forgiven and forgotten... And it never would be? What if he spent the rest of his life having these horrible dreams? What if Edward would never forgive him?

What then?

The door opened completely, revealing a disheveled and sleepy Ed.

The teen's golden hair was out of it's traditional braid and was a complete mess, sections of his hair sticking a different direction then the others. He was shirtless, thus making his toned stomach and chest exposed to the world. Light blue boxers covered his lower half from sight.

Then, Roy saw the automail. The metal was shining in the early mornings light, but that's not what his obsidian eyes were studying so intently.

It was the scars. Where skin met metal. Roy saw the scar that took up Ed's shoulder, and he didn't have to imagine the pain it must have caused to get that automail attached to his body. He already knew.

"Hey! Colonel, are you just gonna gawk at me all day?" An irritated Edward yelled at him.

Roy finally snapping out of his little trance, he stared into Edward's golden eyes. "Can I come in, Edward?"

The blonde, too tired and confused to argue, opened the door wider so the colonel could enter his dorm. The older man followed the teen to the living room, and took the seat beside him on the couch.

"Edward... What can I say or do to make you forgive me?"

Fullmetal was suddenly awake. "I thought I told you that I forgave you already."

"But you didn't mean it."

The Flame Alchemist watched emotions flicker through Ed's eyes. Hurt shone brightest in the golden orbs. "I said forgave you, didn't I? Those dreams stopped didn't they? So you can stop pretending you care and go away."

How did Ed know about the dreams? Roy wanted to know. But there were other things he needed to clear up first before that.

"They didn't stop. And I'm not pretending I care. I do care, Edward. Why would you think otherwise?" Roy questioned in return.

Edward gave a mirthless laugh. "You only wanted those dreams to end. I said I forgave you, you got what you wanted." Another cold laugh bubbled from the blonde's lips. "Why would I think otherwise?" He mocked the colonel's question. "Why? Because I know. The Truth told me everything about your little 'apology'." He said as he narrowed his golden eyes.

"What do you mean that the Truth told you everything?" Roy asked, desperately trying to figure out what the Truth did now to make his and Edward's life a living hell.

"About making you see my past. About forcing you to apologize to me. About pretending you cared. The Truth told me _everything._" Edward finished coldly.

"It's true." Roy admitted, thoroughly surprising Ed with his reply. "Some of it." Roy continued. "That creepy bastard did make me see your past, which by they way, was not a very nice one. However, the Truth did not make me apologize. I was going to anyway, I'll have you know. And... I never pretended to care. That was real."

"How do I know that? How can you prove that?" Edward asked softly after a blanket of silence coated the room.

Roy gave a sad smile in the blonde's direction. "You have to believe me... I can't prove it."

"Why should I believe you?" The Fullmetal Alchemist asked his superior officer somberly.

The raven haired man thought about this before answering with his own question. "Before this... Had I ever given you a reason not to believe me? Not to trust me?"

Edward thought about the question. No. The colonel had never given him a reason not to trust him. And the Truth had never given him a reason to believe him. Maybe... Just this once, he'd give Mustang the benefit of the doubt.

"So, you really are apologizing?" Ed asked, just to be sure.

"Yes Edward. I am so, so sorry. I was an ass, a total bastard and I know it. Please, forgive me." Roy replied, fulfilling the promise he had made to himself by forcing himself to forget his pride to gain Ed's forgiveness.

"Just this once, I will." The blonde said with a smile.

"Thank you, Edward." Roy said with a smile of his own. But Roy had one more question. "Where is Alphonse?" He asked, thoroughly puzzled as to where the younger Elric brother had been for the last few days.

The eldest Elric brother gave a small laugh. "Oh, Al? He's back in Resembool. He'll be there for a few more days."

"Why is he there?"

The Fullmetal Alchemist thought for a moment. "He's there to get this something for my automail from Winry. She insists that I'm going to break it." He sighed, well aware of what his mechanic thought of his reckless actions that resulted in broken automail.

"I see."

A comfortable silence wrapped around the inhabitants of the room, neither daring to break it. They stayed like that, simply enjoying the others company. After a while, Roy stood up from the couch.

"I think I should be going now, Fullmetal."

Edward stood up also and nodded. "Yeah I think so. But one thing before you leave..." He hesitated and Roy took that chance to speak.

"What is it, Edward?" The raven haired man asked, confused by his subordinates lack of speech.

A light blush found it's way to the younger male's cheeks. "Well ah-" He paused, staring down at his feet. Roy heard a faint mumble of "oh screw it." And before the older man could reply, Edward had wrapped his arms around Roy's waist in a tight hug.

"I'm glad everything's okay now." Ed whispered as he burrowed his head into the colonel's warm arms.

Roy didn't hesitate before wrapping his own arms around the small blonde. "Me too." He replied, tightening his grip. And he was glad. Having the dreams stop was only an added bonus. But, Roy was glad that they could go back to the playful banter between them, as had been there a few days ago. Glad that there would no longer be this distance between them, all because of Roy's cruelly spoken words from that rainy day in the office.

He was sure everything between them would be fine.

Yes... Roy was positive everything would be just fine.

_End_

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